I like the concept of the second image more than the first, because the first one is too busy and does not have a clear focus.
What I don't like is the muddy colours from the mixed lighting. I don't really like the brownish area on the left and the heavy door on the right either. If it were my image, I'd be more likely to come up with something along these lines.
Still not perfect, but fluorescent lights tend to give of lighting that is not particularly attractive. I tried to get the yellow / green out to some extent and give the image a crisp and cooler tone, with the focus on the model.