I'd want to see how much detail I could get out of the land. As it is, I feel the two headlands are too dark. I'd probably cut back a bit (a little bit) on the darkness of the dark clouds (a bit of dodging, or brightening using a control point on a tool like Silver Efex Pro). And then I'd leave it. Because I too think there's a good image in there.
I agree that there is a lot of detail that is, at the moment, lost in the shadows on the headlands. But also, you have white buildings on either side of the picture that could be made to stand out with some heavy dodging to give it specific areas of interest to lead the eye across, and create a triangle with the dark area of cloud in the top middle of the image.
If you do decide to bring these buildings out, you may wish to keep the hills dark to maintain high contrast.
I think it could work well in colour too, with some work on saturation and detail on the headlands.
I'll bet it has an interesting looking histogram as well; full of peaks. Agree with the others, regarding the shadows and those highlights are going to blaze like white paper on white paper.
To me, Dave, the colour version is nicely subtly but your first B&W has become a little too 'harsh'. Probably a crop to remove some of the cloud would help to control the 'heaviness' of this scene when in B&W.
By all means have a go at selectively lightening the shadow areas to bring out more detail but I think they still need to be fairly dark; otherwise they will start to appear 'washed out'.
Dave - I would like to understand why you feel that this image would make a good B&W conversion in the first place. The image is bordering on being monochromatic to begin with. As others have pointed out, I find that the loss of shadow detail in the hills is really the first thing I notice with this shot and there are lots of ways to get it some more "pop" in either colour or monochrome.
Let me try to go "over the top" a bit in colour and B&W...
Thanks for the feedback and ideas. It's going to to take me a little while to absorb and try out. I'd actually been reducing detail in the headlands!
Always happy for anyone to edit my photos.
Dave