With regards to the "dead eye" - if you're going to use Rembrant lighting it pays to simply ask the model if she can see the flash with both eyes; if she can then you'll avoid dead eye like this.
Maybe little more light to the left side. Left eye is little to dark and this moves it "behind". The
lamp is also almost out of capture. Maybe 50cm/20" backward could be nicer.
Maybe little more light to the left side. Left eye is little to dark and this moves it "behind". The
lamp is also almost out of capture. Maybe 50cm/20" backward could be nicer.