My Beloved Friend

[Rita]

This is a photo of my dear and long time friend (37 years). We met at a time when I was really messed up. She took me in and over the years has been a faithful friend, counsellor, and a mother I never had. When everyone else gave up on me, she didn't and I am forever grateful to her. A year and a half ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimers and in this short time she has been reduced to a fraction of the women she was. Today when I went to visit her she looked me in the eye and said "Who are you? I don't know you." I knew this day would come and tried to prepare myself for it but I can now say that my preparation didn't succeed.

Just this once I am not looking for critique.

[Shadowman]

I'm sure she'll remember again later. Best to get a photo of you two together which might make recognition a bit easier. I've had relatives who forgot who I was, sometimes it's temporary, sometimes they think you are someone else.

[KimC]

So very sorry - such a difficult disease. Wonderful image of a special woman.

[truonda]

I'm sorry for your loss, Rita. Losing a loved one is never easy.

[IzzieK]

Rita, my ex-mother-in-law (bless her soul...) died at the age of 93. She had Alzheimer's too and it took a long time for her to pass away, over 10 years in fact. I always want to remember her when she and Dad (bless his soul too...) were waving their goodbyes to us from the front of their garage at the side of the house. There was a time when it is time to visit her that I had leaden feet and just stare out of the window instead. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life! Never a bad word about anyone no matter if she was wronged.

I am glad you met this woman, Rita. I am a strong believer of meeting someone at the right time for lessons to learn. Some people just come and go in our lives, some stay -- all for the lessons we need to learn, long or short, in our lives as we pass through our now. For now, learn to strengthen yourself for when you meet her next and the next, and the next...I never did with Mom and been left crumbling in tears every time we end our visit. Most people do not understand this disease, until it is close to home.

[Rita]

Thank you John and Daniel.

Kim, thank you. And yes, she is a ver special lady.

Izzie, thank you. You have said it all so beautifully. My friend will be 93 in Jan.

[csa mt]

Rita, I'm so sorry that this horrible disease has taken the memory of your beloved friend. I can't imagine how difficult that is. If you can, keep visiting, as there might be times she will remember you; and regardless, hopefully your visits will give her comfort, whether she remembers or not. Always remember the times the two of you had in the past.

BTW, that is such a beautiful photo!

[bnnrcn]

Sorry about that Rita, my mother suffered from some memory loss before she died, so all I can say is it is hard.

[Rita]

Thank you Binnur and Carol.

Carol, I will always continue to visit her no matter how hard it is. She had lots of reason to give up on me yet she never did so now is my turn to do the same for her.

[NorthernFocus]

Rita, sorry that you have to witness this in someone who is so dear to you. Bless you for standing by her. She may not remember but you surely will.

[Rita]

Thank you Dan.

[Nicks Pics]

We with our typing can't help as much as a closer person could, if you have one to speak to, but yes, our elder ladies can be very needed friends, and God will still know if you continue to serve her out of faithfulness to her and to Him!

[Manfred M]

Rita - I can relate. My mother died of Alzheimer's related complications a couple of years ago; she was well into her 89th year and had been suffering from that terrible disease for over 20 years. I know that one of the doctors who was treating her told us that it was the slowest progression he had ever seen. It was tough on all of us, especially my on father.

I remember having a very strange reaction when I was told that my mother had died. I remember saying something along the lines that "my mother had died years ago, but the shell that used to be my mother had now died".

I'm sorry for your loss, my best advice is to remember her as she was before the Alzheimers. It certainly works in my case.

[Rita]

God will still know if you continue to serve her out of faithfulness to her and to Him!

So true Nick.

[Rita]

Manfred, sorry to hear that your mother had this terrible disease. It is strange to have varying degrees of grieving for someone who is still alive. I think that your words are so true that when she dies it will be a shell that dies. Who she really is will always be remembered.