Another interesting image to critique... I remember being in Pushkar at the camel market last November.
1. The image seems to have a red cast to it. Did you do this on purpose or is this the way the image turned out? One of the reasons I ask is that this image is all about the girl's eyes, and having the whites of her eyes looking too pink is a bit distracting. The huge catchlights (and your reflection in them) are quite interesting and are what makes this image.
2. Is there any reason you decided to left the left 1/3 of this image. It adds nothing to the image and while I know some well known head shot photographers (Peter Hurley) have adopted this style, I'm not a great fan of it in this instance. I suspect a square crop might be a better choice here.
3. I might be tempted to crop some of the bottom off in this image. I suspect this image would look better if you cropped slightly into her chin. That would eliminate the little white line that is running into her chin.
4. I know you like it dark, but I would still brighten it up a touch to bring out some more features in her face.
5. I might also do a bit of skin smoothing and touching up with that lighter image. I use the Imagenomics Portrait plugin (quite expensive) for some of my portrait work. I would also add a slight vignette to the image.
6. Something I didn't do in my edit was to remove the red lines in the whites of her eyes. If I were working on the original I would also do some in process sharpening of her eyes and eye lashes and probably a touch of work on her lips as well. I would be very careful on whitening her eyes as these can look unreal and almost spooky if overdone.
