Krys (2)

[bje07]

[bnnrcn]

Hi Jean .There is something which bothers me in this image but again I can't figure out what it is May be the lower part of her body gets narrower and this is very visible against the dark BG . A lighter colored BG might look better as her body would get mixed with it

Please wait for the other comments to make a judgement as I'm not sure about my comment

[Dave Humphries]

I can see what Binnur means, but my thoughts were;
a) at 50mm, on FF, you focal length has led to a shooting distance (for this framing) that is perhaps a tad too short and resulted in the forearm and hand being a little too large in relation to her face.
b) the lighting angle has also resulted in a large contrast difference between the dim forearm and bright back of her hand.

a) You don't need me to say that (IF I spotted it when shooting) I'd move back a bit and crop more in PP, if a longer lens wasn't available - always assuming there was room for you to do this, I have shot in tight spaces were I couldn't get far enough away.
b) In PP, the hand could be burned and the forearm dodged to reduce these effective contrast between them. While burning, I'd also darken the hair a tad too, as someone said of another image; it competes with her face, as it is the brightest thing in shot..

HTH, Dave

PS
I am enjoying (and learning myself) from your shots, so please do keep them coming.

[Mike Buckley]

I really like the overall pose and the dark background.

Even so, I've looked at the image four times and I just can't get away from my thinking that the dark band of the net should be just a tad lower than both eyes because that band gets in the way of both eyes, which are so important. Similar to my thinking of the other monochrome portrait I mentioned, the bright light on the lower part of her hair and to a lesser extent her wrist pulls my eye away from the most important part of the image and out of the frame.

[bje07]

Thank Dave for this analysis.
My back light (on the right, a bowl) is too powerful compared to my main light on the right (a softbox)
Back light gives me good results in her hat and hair but is too important on her hand.
Thank you for your help and Binnur's one.
I'll fix it and will show the result here.
(portrait made in my studio, other will follow)

[bje07]

Before modifying my picture, another one with less light problem (her hand is not in the light)

[Mike Buckley]

Much nicer light but it's a shame the horizontal dark band in the net cuts across the bottom of her right eye and the vertical band cuts across the pupil in her left eye.

[Shadowman]

Nicely done on both.

[dragon76]

Nice shot!. Her right eye is a bit over brightened, IMO (first portrait).

[bje07]

Thank you Dave, Mike and Dean.
I took into account all your suggestions (hand, hair, eye, I added her neck) except modification of course of the dark band on her eyes.
It makes nicer portrait, ready for competition.
She went with her uncommon hat, it as some inconvenient

MOD COMMENT: I have added version 1 here in a quote so the two are next to each other for comparison in LyteBox; "3 of 4" is V.1, "4 of 4" is V.2.

Krys (2) version 2

[Mike Buckley]

Much improved! I can't explain why, but the different treatment of her face in the revised version makes the placement of the dark band in her net far less objectionable to my eye. If I had seen this version first, I doubt that I would have even mentioned that band.

[bje07]

Thanks Mike, sure I didn't do anything on her face, except playing on her neck and forehand indicating that everything is in proper lighting
May be I find it now a little bit grayish

[bnnrcn]

The edit looks much better Jean

[Manfred M]

Jean - the first thing that strikes me is the size of your model's hand in the first image. It looks HUGE and almost unreal.

The problem is caused by the focal length shot (you are physically closer to the hand and shooting a 50mm lens will accentuate that) as well as the front on view of the awkwardly positioned hand. I prefer having my subjects show more of a side view of the hand as that tends to slim things down a bit.

The other thing that I don't totally love is how the line in the hair piece your model is wearing cuts right along the bottom of the eyes. Much like shots of people wearing glasses, the frame cutting across the eyes tends to weaken the composition. We are probably looking at less than a cm here. Had you shot from a slightly higher position or had she tilted her head a bit more, this would not be an issue.

[Mike Buckley]

I didn't do anything on her face

You didn't think you did anything but you most certainly did. I know how that can happen, so I'm sympathetic. When toggling back and forth between the two images, the changes on her face are immediately obvious, not even subtle.

[bje07]

This is my new version, after reducing all disturbing elements.

[bnnrcn]

Composition looks better after the crop Jean. Also reducing the highlights on her hair seems to have worked very well