One tool I miss in Capture One (or maybe it is because I have not found it) is the blur tool from Aperture. Was useful in this sort of instance. Although the background if not distracting in my opinion. The well focused subject overcomes it .
Beggars cannot be choosers.
There are times where I will "lose the shot" as you put it, because the shot I would get will not be usable.
There is nothing wrong with that and indicates that the shooter is a photographer, not someone who just takes snapshots.
You could always rethink your dislike of flash and make the background go black.
Brian,
Check to see if the light hits/illuminates the background, if it does then you've got your answer. Much easier to use flash/aperture at say 1/8 flash intensity and f/16. If you don't like the effects of flash on your subject just reduce the intensity so that it only minimally illuminates your subject.
Backgrounds will always pose a problem with real life botanical subjects photographed literally in the field, Brian.
I think I may have tried a few shots with the lens opened up a bit; maybe F8 or even fractionally wider to give more background blur. But that would have to be capable of still retaining sharpness on the main flower. This sort of scene is where I sometimes shoot with a wider aperture and do a merge of two or three focus points.
With this image, I don't think it is too bad apart from one very small area just above centre which I would selectively tone down. Possibly I might also try slightly increasing the highlights while keeping the shadows dark to give more separation between subject and background.
An image comprises everything that you include in the frame.
If that doesn't work in a composition or you cannot find a composition to make it work, then you lose the shot.
If you want a snap of something, flower, person etc., fine, but I don't think you can call that an image that you wanted to create.
Local adjustments>mask to select the area to be blurred>Clarity and push sliders to left. Repeat if you need greater blurring . These are for v10; the steps in v11 may differ but the basic priciple (masking and minus values in Clarity) are the same .
Brian,
Check out this video on flash vs continuous light. Not suggesting you need to purchase the equipment shown, just some ideas on how to use what you already have.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od4kuVnd8V0&t=1447s