I think it's a pretty good candid. Personally I like the tight framing/crop on photos like this.
If you are interested in portraiture, you should check out the tutorial stickied in this forum. There's some really good info in there.
I do like this, the tight crop, the light and the slight softness of focus. Putting the face higher in the frame with the (high contrast) eye on the rule of thirds you have created room for her to look into. The slight tilt of the head creates a soft diagonal line which does not divide the image in two but I don't do portraits.
Sorry, but I don't think it works at all. She looks to be a pretty girl, but the angle of her head (or perhaps the angle of the camera) makes her features looks quite disproportionate. Her nose looks much larger than I'm sure it is, and that ear, high up in the corner has a very strange effect on the whole shot. What is the discoloured fuzzy area of hair above her ear? Is it something that happened in post-processing? I think the lack of any eye contact leads one to consider more closely the structural arrangement of the shot, which only makes matters worse. Given the lack of eye contact it might have been better to shoot it from the side, in profile, and thus avoid the angle problems.