They can count to one!One-legged plastic flamingos from the local garden centre don't count...
I know but I keep my woodpecker up and think of England.from 8 ducks a night to a quick (ahem) Phalacrocorax aristotelis... So sad
Which reminds me of a great little anecdote concerning Winston Churchill...I think I heard this from Stephen Fry on a QI show.
Back in the day of stiff upper lips and starched collars. A minister called on Churchill who was sat in bed puffing alway on his cigar. The agitated minister had come to warn the Prime Minister that an indiscretion had arisen that night in which a member of the Government had been found in a compromising position with a Guardsmen in Hyde park and the press had knowledge of the incident. Churchill did not bat an eyelid and enquired "it was bloody cold last night?", The Minister replied "yes Prime Minister - below freezing". Churchill carried on puffing away at his cigar and said "makes you proud to be British"